I'm a Living Cliche

This year has been a little rough so far. My wife, myself, my granny-in-law, and my little one have been sick on and off since the new year began. I making it sound worse than it is(except for grandma), but I will say- I don't get sick. I don't know where it's coming from, but I'm not enjoying it. Maybe with a child, you get less sleep and thus one's immune system is down.

Mostly, I hate when my little boy(now 1yr old) gets sick. He has had a temperature these past few nights and it pains me. We assumed it was because he was cutting a new tooth, but who knows. We've called the Doc and been advised it's normal.


Anyhow, I had a pretty rough day today at work(on top of not feeling well) and there was nothing better than coming home and squeezing the kiddo. As I rocked him to sleep tonight(the wifey is at work) I was so thankful for this little guy. Something about being a little under the weather makes me sentimental. And so, I was struck by the thought of what an opportunity a sickness can be. Randy Pausch(see previous post) is an extreme example of this, but on a less serious note-you can't help but love a little harder when you or someone else isn't well.

Now, I'm not saying I would wish for it. I don't. But, when it comes, to view it as an opportunity doesn't see like a bad idea.


I was visiting with my grandmother-in-law at the hospital weeks ago after she came down with double pneumonia. She expressed to us how she felt guilty for needing help from family or the nurses or anyone. My wife then expressed her love for her and said that she loved taking care of her, and that she should not feel bad because she has done so much for others. I then said to Grandma that she should let others help her because not only does it help her, but it helps those who are helping. There is nothing that can bring more joy than when we stop focusing on ourselves and we focus on helping others. I know it sounds cliche, but the truth of this principle spoke to me very clearly as I kissed my little boy's head and gave God thanks for this sweet kiddo(my teacher).

Randy Pausch-Life Master

It's a bitter sweet thing that being away from your family makes you realize how much you love and appreciate them. I have been traveling a lot for work lately and so I brought along a book in my travels that my mom gave to me. It's called the Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. Traveling away from my loved ones along with the sentimentality of this man's story has had a powerful effect on me. I found myself wiping my eyes on the plane with my hat pulled down-hoping one of my associates wouldn't ask me a question in one of my weepy moments.

The whole world changes when you're a dad. I actually am much less embarrassed of emotions than I ever have been. I have many thing to care about and I'm not afraid to let it show. Now don't be put off- I'm not the cry at movies sort of guy. It's rare for me to even get mildly emotional at a movie. But then there's real life. REAL STORIES. That's what this guy, Randy has. It's a powerful story about a man living life. At the realization of his finite existence-at least here on earth. After being diagnosed with terminal cancer and given only months to live Randy decided to put together "The Last Lecture" and write a book about it. He goes on to tell a story to his children through his work(his achievements and failures) about how to live your life. How to achieve your childhood dreams. He tells all the stories that he would have wanted to tell his kids-or anyone. You can't help but develop a genuine love for this man as you feel his passion for life. I am thrilled that his children will one day be able to feel that love through this book and through the video taped lecture he actually gave a Carnegie Melon.

I have had many dreams a child. And many I continue to work on. But, one thing I have always wanted was to demonstrate to my kids through my vocation that you can make a living by using the gifts bestowed upon you. As an artist it has been a struggle to find a career where I can use my creative gifts and talents while still providing a comfortable life for my family. I have always wanted to have a job that not only would provide for my children, but inspire them as well. It would seem more difficult to inspire-even with your talents-if you did not show them that your talents will actually reap rewards.

This is only one of the many sentiments I took from The Last Lecture. I encourage you to read it and open yourself up. Like my sister said(who read it before me), "It's one of those books you just want to have around." I imagine Randy was the same way.

Would Spider-Man use a cell phone?

"With great power comes great responsibility." -Spider Man

Recently I have been reading more and more about how wireless technology could be affecting our health and our food supply. Some research shows that the radiation set off by our cell phones are messing with the navigation of honey bees and they are not able to find their way back to their hives, and so they die. There has already been a significant drop in the amount of bees pollinating plants in the US and abroad. Most of the world's crops depend on pollination by bees. Albert Einstein once said that if the bees disappeared, "man would have only four years of life left".

So, what does this have to do with being a dad? Well, besides the fact that our food population could be at risk in the future, it also raises some red flags about cell phones in general. Just think, if cell phones are doing this to bees then what is happening to us and our family. Research has shown that cell phone radiation does in fact kill brain cells(especially in those under 8yrs old). It is also shown that people who have been using a cell phone for over 10 years have shown that when getting a brain tumor it occurs 40% more on the side of the head where they used their cell phone the most.

The reason I write this post is to encourage others to consider their cell phone usage. My wife and I decided to get a landline and not use cordless phones(they also emit radiation) when at home. We also turn off our wireless internet when we are not using it(this is also radiation and harmful to children especially). I have actually challenged myself to only plug in my computer directly to the internet. You would be surprised how much less needlessly you will surf the web and how much more mindful time you will spend with your loved ones. Last night our power went out and my wife was thankful I wasn't piddling on the web.

Dog Zen.

My wife and I watched this show today on the animal planet called Cell Dogs. Animal Planet describes it:

Go into the United States most terrifying institutions and find out how the Prison Pet Partnership program has helped inmates. Inmates volunteer as dog trainers and together the dogs and trainers help each other grow and improve their lives.

They interviewed numerous inmates and talked to them about how training dogs has helped them emotionally and spiritually. My wife and I were very moved being dog owners ourselves. We can empathize, to a certain degree, with the connection one can feel with an animal. You could see the gentleness that these dogs brought out in these men and women who once committed very sirius crimes to the extent of murder. After implementing this program in the prison, violence went down by up to 50% in the prison yards.

My wife and I often express our excitement in bringing up our son with dogs(having two). I think having a pet can bring a real appreciation for life in all creatures into the family. I met a little boy once who would not kill a spider, but would visit its spider web each day to see what new webs he had spun and what meals he was eating. I hope my son will have the same appreciation for nature. I know I will do my best to teach it.

Here's our Doggies.

Do as I do.

I borrowed the book, "Way to Be" by the late Gordon Hinkley from my sister yesterday. It's a very easy, yet inspiring read. This particular passage spoke out to me. It speaks to much of what I am currently striving for.

"Train your mind and your hands to become an influence for good as you go forward with your life. And as you do so and as you perform with excellence, you will bring honor to yourself and your family. You will be regarded as a man or woman of integrity and ability and conscientious workmanship. Be smart. Don't be foolish. You cannot bluff or cheat others without bluffing or cheating yourself."

As I raise my son, I must live the life that I teach him. Many parents live by the code of: do as I say, not as I do. They find no problem with polluting their own minds and bodies while being a hypocritical teacher. A teacher must live what they wish to teach.

I'm no missionary, but I find great relevance this excerpt from the Bible:

John 5:19 reads, "The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise."

My Teacher is Four Months Old

"Buddy, what's wrong? I don't know what else to do for you. Why do you keep crying?"

I often times find myself repeating this phrase. My wife works many late evenings as a ballet instructor, leaving me home to take care of my son. I cherish the time. But I don't have the tenderness to my voice like my wife does. I don't have that soft soothing touch. My hands are dry and my voice is sometimes stern. When our boy cries my wife melts like butter, the kind of butter you could heal the worst of wounds with. She's good like that. When I hear crying, my ears ring, and i feel like I'm 12 years old and my little sister just slugged me in the gut. When I feel this this way, I remember that my son is my teacher. And when I frame the present moment in this regard, I ask my self, "So, if my baby is my teacher, what is he teaching me right now?"
When I ask my self this question I am immediately humbled and open. Not angry, not defensive, not frustrated. I am teachable. Patience is the obvious lesson here. But, it goes deeper. He is teaching me composure, unconditional love, responsibility, charity. Most importantly each and every lesson is a reminder to be open to the next.